What God Hath Joined Together

We will consider some questions that arise in Christian circles. For example, when we become a Christian, old things have passed away and all things have become new. Does this imply that if I was divorced before I was saved, after I am saved I am a new creature and I am free to remarry? What if I become saved after I have married a second time?

    that saved people have become new creatures in Christ; old things have passed away and all things have become new. Is this teaching Biblical?

    This teaching is quite unbiblical. First, it does not recognize that God’s laws apply to all mankind. For example, the commandments "thou shalt not kill" and "thou shalt not covet" apply to the unbeliever as well as to the believer. The difference is in the response to these commands. The true believer earnestly desires to be obedient to all of God’s commands, while the unbeliever pays little or no attention to these rules.

    The true believer knows that all of the commands of the Bible are to be obeyed. There is no statement of the Bible he would disregard. Therefore, if the Bible says he is not to remarry after divorce, then he will remain single. This is true whether he was divorced before or after he was saved.

    Second, becoming a new creature in Christ does not necessarily nullify the physical results of our sin. For example, a murderer is sentenced to the electric chair, and while waiting to be executed, he becomes saved. Because he is a child of God, he will never be threatened with hell for murder or for any other sin he committed. He now stands absolutely blameless before God. Does this mean that he can leave death row and avoid execution? No, he must be executed for his crime unless he receives a pardon from the governor.

    The same is true of a drunkard. Because of his drunkenness, he is dying of liver disease. Then he becomes saved, and all of his sins, including drunkenness, have been covered by Christ’s blood. Does this mean that he will not die of liver disease? Not necessarily. Normally, the effects of his drunkenness continue with him.

    Likewise, the man who has messed up his life because of divorce can be forgiven of the sin of divorce along with every other sin he has committed. When he becomes saved he can know that he will never have to answer to God for any of his sins.

    However, much of the impact of his sins remains with him. God’s laws concerning marriage and divorce still stand. Even if he becomes saved after he was divorced, God’s law prohibits remarriage while his former spouse lives. Therefore, he will remain single as God has commanded.

    This leads us into another question. Would our loving, forgiving, heavenly Father, our God, expect those who are divorced to live the single life in total celibacy?

    This question can be answered from two vantage points. First, consider a marriage that was broken by God; a widow with five children, one of whom is a child with special needs. God has taken her husband by death.

    Biblically she is free to remarry, and if any family needs a husband and a father, it is certainly this one. In actuality, marriage for this widow is highly unlikely. It would be difficult to find a man to be father to five children but almost impossible to find a man willing to take on the additional responsibilities of a child with special needs.

    Did God leave this poor widow in an impossible, terrible situation? God is perfect in His actions and His wisdom. When God took this husband by death, God knew that the widow could continue a meaningful and happy life without the presence of a husband and father for her children.

    Her life would be different from what the world considers ideal. She would need the help of others, and she would have to constantly cry out to God for wisdom and patience. But she would find that God’s grace is sufficient. In fact, she could experience in a dynamic way the reality of such promises as "I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee" (Hebrews 13:5). God’s grace is sufficient for those whose marriages have been broken by His action, and His grace is sufficient for those whose marriages have been tampered with by man’s action of divorce.

    Second, in our sinful, finite minds, we think that because the intimacies enjoyed in marriage were a necessary part of our life, it would be nearly impossible to live a celibate life after divorce. "How can I be expected to live the rest of my life without any further intimacies with the opposite sex? Surely a good God does not intend that for me," we might reason.

    God designed us. God put the body chemistry within us so that we can enjoy the intimacies of marriage. It is God who assures us that is it possible for humans to live happy lives without the benefit of such intimacies. God declares in I Corinthians 7:27, "Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife." He says in verses 32-34:

But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

    These verses show that there are special advantages available to the unmarried. In these verses, God is not speaking to a certain group within the company of believers; He is speaking to all who have become children of God. Jesus teaches in Matthew 19:12:

For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

    The strict definition of a eunuch is someone who is not physically equipped to perform the sexual act. Jesus is teaching that some people make themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He is not implying that they are to have themselves physically altered. Rather, they choose to live without the physically intimacy of the marriage relationship. In denying themselves this intimacy, they gain new and wonderful ways to live to God’s glory.

    The world in which we live has put an enormous priority on sexual intimacy. Advertisements, novels, TV programs, and psychologists of our day have brainwashed some people into thinking that if we cannot have this kind of intimacy, we are being deprived of the greatest blessing known to man.

    This is a lie. God’s Word is the truth. While God indicates there are certain blessings within the marriage relationship - particularly in the rearing of godly children - there are greater blessings to be realized in the single state.

    The single person has the advantage of more time to serve the Lord by doing good works, such as visiting the lonely, caring for children of broken homes, and helping the elderly in nursing homes. He has more time for Bible study and prayer. Married people should also be involved in denying themselves so that their lives might be as fruitful as possible for Christ, but the unmarried can demonstrate these ideals to the highest degree.

    The spiritual dimension of doing good works can make a big difference in the lives of widows, widowers, divorced people, and those who have never married. God has given special comfort and promise to all those who are single. When he lives in accordance with God’s principles, these blessings become evident. If the single person listens to the advice of the world, he might have the overwhelming feeling that the single state makes a person a deprived, pitiable, second-class citizen. This can set the stage for a fall into fornication. Only when God’s rules are followed can the life of the single person become even more victorious than that of the married person.

THE SECOND MARRIAGE

    The question we are facing is a serious one, even though it should not be. If the human race, were obeying God’s laws concerning marriage and divorce, there would be few second marriages. But because of the wholesale repudiation of God’s laws concerning the sanctity of marriage, the problem has become enormous. Everywhere we turn we meet those who have remarried after divorce.

    The second marriage is an adulterous marriage because the wife is bound to the husband as long as he lives. Romans 7:3 declares:So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall

be called an adulteress, though she be married to another man.

    The wife is an adulteress if she is married to a second husband while her first husband is still living. She is an adulteress because her first marriage has become adulterated by her divorce, as well as because she has married a second husband.

    In the Bible, a number of examples are given of men with multiple wives: Jacob had four wives, David had several wives, and Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines, but these were exceptions. The usual example that is given is of one wife. This was true of Adam, Noah, Isaac, and Moses.

    We also consider that never does the Bible instruct a man to divorce all but the first wife. This is remarkable when we remember that the principle of one man, one wife, goes all the way back to the beginning. God did not tell Adam that the three or four or several shall become one flesh. He instructed mankind in the beginning that the two shall be one flesh (Genesis 2:24). Although in Genesis 2:24 the number "two" is not used, the verse speaks of a man cleaving to his wife (not wives), "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." Jesus quotes this verse in Matthew 19:5 and Mark 10:8. In both of these verses He declares that the two shall be one flesh.

    Therefore, we might expect that God would ask those who have violated this command by taking multiple wives to divorce their additional wives. Such an admonition is not given by God.

    We must realize that even though God has willed that the proper marriage is one husband, one wife, He has allowed mankind to break this law by having multiple wives. Nowhere in the Bible does He ask believers with multiple wives to divorce the extra wives.

    The reason for this probably lies in the fact that even the marriage of a second wife is still a marriage. Even though it is altogether wrong, for some reason God still counts it as a marriage. Thus, the second wife becomes bound to the husband even as the first wife has become bound to the husband. Once this binding relationship occurs, it cannot be broken. The marriage to this second, wife adulterates the pristine, ideal character of marriage of one husband, one, but the second marriage is a marriage, and therefore, there can be no divorce.

    When a man divorces his first wife, she is still bound to him from God’s vantage point. Therefore, when he takes a second wife while his first wife is living, he has two wives bound to him. The act of divorcing his first wife was grievous sin. Likewise, the act of marrying a second wife was grievous sin. But the second marriage is still a marriage, and therefore, there cannot be divorce from the second wife. This is the marriage in which he must continue until death separates him from his wife.

    A second or third marriage under these circumstances is far from ideal. From the standpoint of its relationship to the first marriage, it is adulterous. There are still responsibilities towards the first wife. Alimony and child support

are the most obvious, but there are moral and spiritual responsibilities and conflicts that many continue to plague the one who has arrogantly violated God’s rules. Unfortunately, the children frequently suffer the most because of selfish parents.

    In spite of the difficulties of a second or third marriage after divorce, it is still a marriage. The spouses involved are to live as if it were their first marriage.

    Wonderfully, if they have become true believers, they can know that all of the sins connected with the divorce and remarriage are covered by Christ’s blood. Christ came for sinners, not righteous people. Regardless of how many dirty, rotten sins we have committed, when Jesus becomes our Savior, we can know that He has paid for all our sins.

    This brings us to the last group of questions we shall consider in this study. If a second marriage is to be lived the same as a first marriage, with complete assurance that the sins of divorce and remarriage have been completely forgiven by God, why not just go ahead into a second marriage and then ask for God’s forgiveness later? Suppose I am already married to someone, but I want to marry someone else with whom I have fallen in love. Why not go ahead and get an unbiblical divorce and then sinfully marry the other person? If I am divorced, can I marry someone else before I get right with God? That way I can have my second marriage and Christ also, and I do not have to live the rest of my natural life in the single state.

    These questions and observations may seem logical and attractive. They appear to solve the problem of one having his cake and eating it, too, but this course of action is fraught with danger.

    Effectively, the one contemplating this action is taking the role of an adversary of Almighty God. Effectively, he is saying, "I can sin as deeply and as often as I wish, and in my own sweet time I can become saved. And God must save me when I am ready to become saved." Such a one is tempting God like Israel tested God in the wilderness when they complained that God was leading them to destruction. God warns in I Corinthians 10:9: "Neither let us tempt Christ, as some of them also tempted, and were destroyed of serpents."

    The specific sin God had in view in this verse is recorded in Numbers 21:5-6 where we read:

And the people spake against God, and against Moses, Wherefore have ye brought us up out of Egypt to die in the wilderness? for there is no bread, neither is there any water; and our soul loatheth this light bread. And the Lord

sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.

    The nation of Israel accused God of being too harsh in bringing them out of Egypt and into the wilderness, where they were to live according God’s direction. Their complaints against God only brought judgment upon them.

    So, too, those who insist on having their own way concerning divorce or remarriage after divorce effectively are complaining that God’s way is too severe and too harsh. They are insisting on having their own way.

    Ancient Israel insisted on having its own way and as a result came under God’s wrath. Can we expect God to treat any differently those who insist on having their own way in important matters such as divorce and remarriage? Indeed, it is a very serious matter to contend with Almighty God!

    Moreover, the idea that I can sin for as long as I like, and then, sometime in the future I can repent at will and secure God’s grace, is entirely faulty and does not recognize nor understand the nature of God’s grace.

    Mankind is not the decision maker in salvation. Only Sovereign God Himself decides who is to be saved. He comes to us commanding us to believe in Christ as Savior, and He warns, "How shall we escape, if we neglect so great salvation" (Hebrews 2:3)? He exhorts, "make your calling and election sure" (II Peter 1:10). He tells us in Psalm 51:17, "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise." He warns that He resists the proud and gives grace to the humble (I Peter 5:5).

    With such warning and exhortations, how would anyone dare to deliberately rebel against God in something as serious as divorce or remarriage after divorce? These are not sings that one slips into incidentally or accidentally. These are sins that require deliberate planning and consistent action over a period of considerable time. If one’s heart is rebellious and hard enough today to commit such a sin, the probability is that this person is not saved. Moreover, it is evidence that God is not even drawing him toward salvation. If God is allowing him to engage in such rebellion today, what assurance can he have that later God will deal kindly with him, and soften his heart, and draw him to salvation?

    We may never presume upon the mercies of God. Today is the day of salvation. No one has any guarantee or promise that he will even be alive tomorrow. How then can he know that tomorrow he can make peace with God?

    To divorce or remarry after divorce, knowing that such action is contrary to God’s will, is the most foolish and dangerous action anyone could take. The only fulfilling way to live is in accordance with God’s law is right now. May God give wisdom to those who have even played with the idea of sinning now and repenting later.

HOW DID IT HAPPEN?

    The problem with unbiblical marriage and divorce is so serious and catastrophic that we wonder how the church could have strayed so far from

the truth. Fifty years ago, it was only in the more rebellious elements of the secular world that this sin was visible. Because the church would not even countenance this sin, the secular world did not dare to go too deeply into sin because the church is to some degree the conscience of the secular world.

    Then, a dear lady comes along who was married to a man who was living adulterously with other women. The church began to wonder: "Must this dear wife continue to live with that kind of horrible husband?" So, in its sympathy and compassion, the church restudied the question of divorce for adultery and finally decided, "Yes, the Bible does allow divorce for adultery." And the door was opened so that not only could this dear lady have her divorce, but many others in the congregation could begin to lawfully seek divorce. Then, the people of the world began to expand their divorce horizons, and divorce began to multiply in the world.

    Another dear lady was deserted by her husband and she had to labor all alone in caring for her children, but there was a dear Christian man who loved her and wanted to marry her. Surely, they reasoned, it must be in accordance with God’s will for those children to have a Christian father to care for them.

    So again the church, in its pity and compassion for this woman, appointed study committees to research the possibilities of Biblical divorce for desertion and Biblical remarriage after divorce. And again victory was assured. Indeed, these theologians successfully convinced themselves that the Bible allows divorce for desertion and remarriage after divorce, and so not only could this dear lady divorce her scoundrel of a husband, but she was free to marry the find Christian man who had fallen in love with her.

    Many in the church now believe they have God’s blessing to divorce and remarry. Indeed, even deacons and pastors are now divorcing and remarrying. And the world, taking its cue from the church, becomes a wasteland of broken homes.

    Simultaneously, the church, taking its cue from the world, tacitly gives assent to the dreadful sin of birth control. This not only encourages the world to go deeper into this particular sin, it also opens the door to increased fornication. Forty years ago it was rightly considered shameful and repugnant for unmarried individuals of the opposite sex to live together; now it is commonplace. Indeed, sexual restraints of any kind have almost disappeared.

    Along with all these step-by-step violations of God’s laws for the protection of the family unit, have come shattered lives of men, women, and children whose families have been hopelessly broken. The havoc is so widespread and of such magnitude that no words can accurately describe the full extent of the horror story.

    It is no wonder that God’s judgment is on the church of today. The primary blame for the destruction of the marriage institution and the family unit must be placed at the door of the church which has the Word of God that indicates that divorce is not to be countenanced. The church is the institution that has rewritten God’s rules to accommodate the sins of its members.

    What can we do? We must do what must always be done when we find sin in our lives. We must repent. We must turn away from the rebellious rules that

permit divorce and remarriage. We must cry out to God for His mercy and forgiveness.

    Unfortunately, few will repent. The sins that have developed and been accepted, and which have slowly but surely almost destroyed the marriage institution, are so widespread and interwoven into the fabric of churches that there is little hope for repentance. This is particularly so because we are close to the end of the world. These dreadful sins evidence that fulfillment of the prophecy that most men’s love will grow cold. May God have mercy on us.

    Wonderfully, those who truly want to be obedient to God’s Word can still move in the direction of a more holy life. If we discover wrong practices or wrong doctrines in our life, we can repent of them. God is gracious. He does forgive, and today the Bible is just as much a guide for our lives as it has ever been.

    Although we cannot turn the massive destruction of the family around, individually we can grow in holiness by becoming more obedient. That is the heart’s desire of every child of God.